I am Forever Yours

So... I've been without a job since January. I quit working at my dad's store so that I could student teach. I had very little coming in from tutoring, but that soon dried up. After my student teaching stint, I've been looking earnestly for a job. I trust God and that He will provide, but I knew I had to do my part and actually search. The thing is, I was sending out applications and resumes by the dozens and not getting a fraction of responses back. I think I had one interview in all that mess, back in May. So, two weeks ago is when stuff really got to me. I had no job and no prospect of a job, and I had no more savings and bills were due within a couple of days. Frustrated, I wondered what God was doing. I feel like that at that point, satan was taunting me about my situation - kind of like in a Job-like sense, saying that God doesn't really care about me. I got so mad, and something clicked in my heart. I knew without a doubt that if this situation didn't resolved the way I wanted it to, If God's timing wasn't my own in regards to bills, if I never saw God do another thing for me, I still will trust Him. He is still good, He is still sovereign, and nothing will convince me otherwise. How do I describe the paradox of that liberating feeling, that even though I was in trouble, I still loved, trusted and believed in God? Go figure. The very next day, a friend called me and told me she went home and was thinking and praying about our conversation. I don't even remember having a conversation with her about all this. I barely saw her that week. But she called me up and she said she and her husband would like to help me with all my bills for July. I cried.

Oh, but wait... that one interview in May? The manager for the company was impressed, but because of the economy, they couldn't hire me. So a couple days after miracle #1, I get an email from the owner of the company, telling me that the manager recommended me for the assistant director position, and would I be available for an interview? What a question. Anytime, anywhere...

Oh, and then... I get a call from the president of the campus ministry I've been volunteering for, doing administrative work and such. He's calling to see if I would be interested in being hired temporarily to finish the database project. I was very exhilarated, but I did mention my other full time possibility. He understood and was willing to work around my schedule. Then he mentioned what they could pay, and I was overwhelmed and flabbergasted. I thanked him and told him I would get back with him when I heard from the other job and tried to get off the phone before I completely lost it. As I was getting off, he asked if I was all right. "I'm just so ha-appy!" I bawled. Yeah, go me. But honestly, Go God. I think of Job, Daniel, Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego...

Tonight, I was at a service and learned a new song. Here's the chorus:
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours
I am forever Yours

Mountain high or valley low
I sing out, remind my soul
That I am Yours
I am forever yours

So in the great times, I will praise him. In the dark times, I will trust Him. Blessed be the Name of the Lord. Amen.