Good Friday

Service on Friday was... mind-shattering. I remembered that it was 14 years ago on Good Friday that I completely gave myself over to my Lord, and I was compeletely overwhelmed by His love. As I was remembering that night 14 years ago, I remembered how I felt about God's sacrifice, God's amazing love for me, and my reaction to that was to totally surrender everything to Him. I reflected on how that has affected me since then - my decisions, reactions and such. While I haven't totally gone back on that, I realized that I haven't filtered everything through His love, especially recently.

Even though it's been several years since I watch the Passion of Christ, scenes played vividly through my mind. That is love - self-sacrificing, desperate, do-what-ever-it-takes love - and I want that for my God, my Jesus. As I was worshipping, His love was so real to me, I couldn't stop crying, so... overwhelmed. His awesomeness, Holiness and Majesty was so present, I could only kneel, and then bow before Him. How do I describe it? I can't completely, the words I have are not enough. I felt His presence brush against me, caressing and enfolding me, and I'd never felt so loved. As I knelt, a woman prayed for me, and afterward, she told me she sensed Jesus, as the Bridegroom, hovering over me with His arms around me, comforting, caressing, and kissing me. She had this sense that He was saying how beautiful I was and that He loved me very much. As I thought about it, this is who He is to me right now in this season; my Lover, my Bridegroom. It was so sweet, so thick - thick worship, intimate and holy communion.

And my filter definitely has been adjusted. For some reason, Romans 12:1-2 came to mind: "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service (act of worsip). And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." I guess it was the renewing of my mind part. My God filter has been renewed, and it will change the way I think, see people, and act.

Happy Ressurection Sunday!