So, I'm re-reading Dreaming With God, and something struck me: "Christians who live out of who they really are cannot be crippled by the opinions of others. They don't work to fit into other people's expectations, but burn with the realization of who the Father says they are."
This captured my attention because this used to describe me, but that person has... not really disappeared, but maybe has been hidden lately, and I have no idea when and how it happened. Was it a steady but slow attrition, or did some events happen to totally handicap my self-image. Maybe a combination of both, but in any matter, I never saw it coming. I am fully aware that aspects of my identity don't measure up to who God says I am, which adds to my sense of stagnation and frustration.
Funny, but in the midst of this, I have no intention of bowing to despair. God is good, and I have been through too much for anyone or situations to try and convince me otherwise. I remember when I was in Haiti, totally incapacitated by a parasite, hurting and miserable and unable to move, so much so that breathing was a conscious effort. So, in my mind I sang this refrain (cause talking was 1000 times worse than breathing):
"You alone are Father and
You alone are Good
You alone are Savior
and You alone are God"
I think of that and know with out a doubt that My God is a good God.
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